


Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtles

by ShawnMorgan



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-07 18:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11628906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShawnMorgan/pseuds/ShawnMorgan
Summary: A bunch of mostly happy go Pokemon get left behind so they go looking for training so they can compete. Meanwhile, Shredderina plots the take down of May Jones, daughter of Casey Jones and April O'Neil.Written by someone who knows sod all about Pokemeon.  Due to a prompt





	1. Chapter 1

Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtles.

 

The Venerable Ninja Rat Sensei looked weary as he regarded the four blue teenaged mutants standing in front of him. “You say your trainer deserted you and that you need a tutor?"

“Yes. He said that he didn’t want want turquoise shelled Squirtles because that means unexpected mutation?”

“Yes Sensei!” The Squirtle squeaked in unison.

Splinter rested his weary paws on his Bo staff, listening to it creak in a way reminiscent of his own ancient body. It seemed that his failure to become one with the way was not a failure on his part but a destiny; To train four young hardshells, to guide and nurture them. Shredder was gone, but his daughter remained a threat. Well a pain in the proverbial, anyway

Splinter let out a sigh. What was it with the sudden amount of female villains these days, and why did they and their heroic rivals (also a strangely disproportionate number of young women) all seem to fit the human model of young, attractive, and alluringly single?

It was nearly as strange a notion as that ‘fanfic’ he’d read, about a young him and some rat loving human woman, who even had an outfit made with a tail and ears that she sometimes wore to work. Still, he had to admit, she knew her stuff when it came to rats. Turtles, not so much.

“Master?” One of his prospective pupils question brought Splinter’s attention back to the present.

“Oh, Yes, I shall take you on as students. I shall however, need your names.”

“We are simply, squirtles, sensei, we have no other names.”

“I shall need a way of telling you apart from one another. This I shall do by giving you artistic names, and giving you pointless dinky eye masks, each of a different colour.”

“As long as you’re not colourblind, sensei,”

Splinter smiled. “Finally someone had a thought that that buffoon shredder should have had in over a decade of fighting me; render me colourblind. Although, I’d anticipated that, too. It’s why I varied their weapons… ” His smile widened to a mug grin. 

The Squirtles waited and Splinter named them as he handed out weapons.  
“I shall name you, ‘Tate’” He handed Tate a blue mask and two Katanas that somehow, without ever having used them before and being completely the wrong race, Tate mastered instantly. Splinter was suspicious that someone or something somewhere, was royally taking the piss.

(Author’s note: Splinter is very very right. Fricking ninja powers.)

Splinter pulled out a Purple mask, handed it to the next Squirtle along with a Bo staff and watched as he spun it around perfectly.

“ I shall call you, Lyle, and you just did that without any training, didn’t you?”

“Yes Sensei. Sorry Sensei. I cannot explain how.”

Splinter gave him a sympathetic smile and shrugged.

Moving on to the next Squirtle, he casually tossed the next Squirtle Nunchakus. “I’m already resigned to seeing you wield them expertly, so I’m testing you extra, young one. Can you also boogey whilst doing so?”

The Squirtle did precisely that and Splinter shrugged, completely unsurprised. “Well, I shall call you, Whitworth. It’s a play on ‘witworth,’ too. So that works."

He moved to the last Squirtle. “RIght, just spin these Sais around in an expert fashion, a bit like that highly sought after human woman, that fought that mummy that time." 

Even.Though.The.Sai.Is.Not.An.Egyptian.weapon. The thought made Splinter had to grit his teeth at the thought. But he also wondered what other strange egyptian magic had been wrought, that could change a woman’s belly during a backflip and turn. ... Oh well.

“You happy with that, you old grouch?” The fourth of the Squirtles wasn’t happy smiley but practically growling, obviously only staying because his brethren were. And Splinter had paused long enough said Squirtle to pre-empt him.

“Screw it," Splinter said. “Raphael is still a good name and you really reminded me of your predecessor, attitude and everything.”

“Sounds like someone I’d like to meet.”

Splinter blinked and a genuine smile crossed his face. Maybe I can arrange some extra training for these four,

“Hey,” Raphael said, “Does this make the other guy a Pre-Raphaelite Raphael?”

They even have the same dratted sense of humour…


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truth will out. And so will both both major female characters

Chapter Two

In her lair studying her arch rival, studying her spandex workout, Shedderina snarled. “You will join me, May Jones, or… or…. Damn it, you’ll get away and I’ll have to seduce you to the dark side another time.” With that, she downed another heaped spoonful of Shreddies, 

A snigger from behind her cause Shredderina to whirl round. “What!?”

“You keep saying seduce, and you keep engaging her in cqc. Both of you keep missing lethal blows somehow, and after what you just said, I think I know why…”

“What Madness is this!?”

Supermook grinned at his boss (and had to admit she rocked tight fitting spandex in her own right) He’d never try it on though, after all office romances were notorious for their failure rate. “I’m really glad you said that…” and he pressed a button on his laptop.

And as the song, ‘It must be love’ started playing. Shredderina glared at him. 

 

* * *

May Jones dodged the blow that one of the Foot soldiers threw her way. Her foot came up and caught her opponent in his solar plexus, dropping him with a thud. Behind her, her father was playing ‘Foot’ Ball’ smacking mooks left and right.

Another Foot member was smacked upside the head by an illegal move, twenty five yard penalty, and automatic loss of Down, but Casey wasn’t in the NFL so he kept at it.

May took note, even as she was twisting and flipping a Ninja through a nearby shop window.

That’s when HE appeared, Standing with an arrogance ill befitting a man who had lost several fights to a bunch of green shelled heroes, he smiled and the next words chilled the heroes.

“The Turtles are gone. My dimensional ray finally worked to transport them into the space time continuum. Did you fools think that I was gone for good? But the Shredder can be magnanimous in victory, bow your knee to me now and I shall forgive all past grievances!”

Splinter walked into view, staring down his old foe. “I shall not bend my knee, not after all this time..”

Shredder rolled his eyes. “Then you are a fool.”

“No you cosplay reject, I have arthritis.”

“Then I shall do now what I should have done over a decade ago and cut you off at the kneecaps.”

Splinter pointed his staff and shouted, “Raphael two! I choose you.”

“Only for a pay rise.”

“But.. I don’t pay you,”Splinter spluttered

“Then you’d better start.”

Shredder chuckled. “I have Full Health coverage, dental and Union rights on offer.”

Splinter choked. “You fiend! Is there no end to your cunning."

Taking her cue from her father, Shedderina shouted out, “Jackson, I’ll match my father’s offer and add full lgbt recognition. Which considering I’m probably gay-”

“Well duh, you’ve been flirting with me since we met.”

“And vice versa honey," Chimed supermook. Don’t think we lowly henchmen didn’t notice it wasn’t all one way!” Supermook bit into an apple, leaning nonchalantly on a streetlamp.

May Jackson gave Supermook a chilly look. But after so many similar looks from his boss, Supermook had taken to wearing thermal underwear.

Then Tate and Lyle and Whitworth arrived and rolled into action.

(A/N. would you believe that the un was unintentional? No? Me neither, sneh)

May took her chance to sweep Shedderina’s feet from under her, and shrugged as her opposite number tumbled away adroitly. May made a taunt. “You father never loved you.”

“Yes he did, you binty twit.”

“Binty twit?”

“This production is PG rated, so bad language is out.”

“Ah right, As for your dad, think about the name he gave you.”

“My real name you dork, is July Caston.”

Shredder seemed to shrink a little as his daughter added, “But as a little girl I just loved Shreddies, still do, and always had two bowls for breakfast, devoured them. So he called me ‘his little Shredderina.”

May was about to respond when Tate spewed forth a blast of water, even as Lyle jumped into the air to be propelled by it. The surprise attack was successful and Shredder was neutralised by a high impact Squirtle to the forehead, blasting him backwards.

Whitworth was breakdancing threw the ‘foot’ soldiers and after less than a minute, they broke and ran. A concussed but furious Shredder screamed his outrage. “You cowardly rats!”

Splinter smiled slightly and said, “No Shredder, once more you have it all turned around. It is humans who were cowards here today. The rat retains his courage. And now, the only thing I have left to say is, Cowabunga!”

Tate has levelled. Tate is now a Blastortle!  
Lyle has levelled. Lyle is now a Blastortle!  
Whitworth has levelled. Whitworth is not a Blastortle!  
Raphael has levelled. Raphael is now a Blastortle!  
Raphael used Synergise! Raphael used Cunning! Raphael is a sneaky bugger!  
Splinter is levelling. He is mostly levelling Shredder…

May Proposes. She uses ‘we both have irritating overbearing parents’ move. It is super effective!  
July kisses her new dark action hero girl fiancee. Her lips are super effective!  
May kisses her new anti villain girl fiancee. Her cuddling hands move is super effective!

Casey Jones throws Tate into the air and slams him off Shredder’s head again. Concussion of Shredder is super effective!

* * *

The wedding of May and July took place in August, and both young women had their friends and family in tow. Giving way May was the personage of venerable Master Splinter. Giving away July was Shredder, who for once was looking happy. 

There was happy surprise when the Pizza delivery van rolled up and four masked turtles spilled out, each holding stack of pizza boxes.

“Pizza for everyone!” Michelangelo started throwing Pizza boxes like Shuriken. Tasty amazing pizzas were sent out. Leonardo though, honorable to a fault handed Shredder his pizza face to face. 

Raphael gave his brother a sad shake of his head. Leonard sidled up and patted Raph on the shoulder. “ Who do you think I have the Mozzarella to?”

Raph blinked and then chuckled.” There’s hope for you yet bro.”

"Had to be me, Mikey and Don are busy and you’d never be able to hold your temper.

Raph adopted a pose of mock outrage and said in an exaggerated tone, “ I should kick your ass for that!”

 

In the pews were Splinter’s famous four original pupils with Leonardo sat at the edge across from the leader of the hand. But all seemed content to observe a civil truce today as the two women got married 

To cheers from her side, even a small smile from her dad, Shedderina claimed that Master Splinter had offered to ’foot’ the bills.

Tate responded, to cheers from his side that this was because the lady was forming her own ‘Splinter’ group.

The priest was still unsure how his empty font had gotten suddenly fill of pristine water but the four big blue shelled creature were looking far too innocent.

*

The after party reception went perfectly apart from Shredder feeling utterly compelled to hijack the next pizza delivery van when it came. All eight of Splinter’s pupils prepared to pursue but. But May just said quietly, “Let him have this one eh?” 

Three miles away Shredder screamed in triumph at last. “Cowabunga!”


End file.
